Saturday, January 9, 2010

Who knew? He was right about something..

If you have read my whole blog, I am sure that I have mentioned that my STBX thought he was God's gift to computers. I constantly heard how much of an idiot I was, etc, that I wasn't smart enough to use a computer. He would unplug things so I couldn't use it when he was mad, etc.

He always told me that if I left him, my computer would stop working in a week.

It is a point of pride for me that my computer has been hooked up at my parent's house for TWO weeks and it just now broke LOL

It has a virus.

I am only admitting this here because I WANT people to tell me how crazy I am; I actually started to call him tonight for help. Yep. Even though I would have been laughed at and cussed at, I seriously dialed his phone number.

Then I was like, what am I doing?!?!?!?!?!

Do I like punishment?

So now I am pretty much at a loss. I can not figure this out. I wish I could, believe me, it is almost something I feel that I need to do for my self esteem. I found a couple of friends online who pointed me in some directions that could help. I will try that. If it still wont work, then I will take this as a sign that God does not want me online so much, and I will just have to use the family computer like I am now.

I can't afford to take it in to the shop. Someone tell me that one day I will have two quarters left over at the end of the month again, please.. because this whole using my entire paycheck to pay medical bills thing is really getting me depressed!!!

My parents are very critical of me. It seems like they are both always in a bad mood. I don't want to live here any more than they want me to live here, but I can't do anything about it, I don't have any where else to go.

Part of me wants to start looking for teaching jobs out of state that pay more than I make now. Anyone live in an area where they need teachers and have a couch I could sleep on while interviewing? LOL I love to do laundry :P

Thanks for providing a safe place to talk. I would go nuts if I did not have it some days!

1 comment:

  1. So sorry things are rough now. Do you have an anti-virus on your computer? I followed your old blog and the blanket blog as well.