Wednesday, January 27, 2010

This is a TMI post. You have been warned!!

Seriously, this is period related and it is not pretty. So I am including a lot of spoiler space for you.





Okay so yesterday I felt like I had been backed over by a mack truck. I was beyond miserable. So I decided to take a shower at around 8 PM and just go to bed.

While in the shower I started my period again. Yeah, it had gone away, so I did not take the medicine. Well it came back. And it was mad at me!

I started passing these giant clots in the shower. I got out and put on a Mama Cloth overnight pad with two extra inserts. I walk up the two flights of stairs to my bedroom, bend over to pick something up off of the floor, and I start to see blood drops hitting the brand new carpet in my room.

Yeah, you read that right. Two flights of stairs, less than what, two minutes? And I had bleed through that thick pad.

And was bleeding on to the floor!

It soaked all the way through the pad and was on to my underwear. I mean, really, I am 31 years old and I just don't have a stained underwear problem with the Mama cloth. I ordered the largest ones because I am heavy, they cover pretty much everything. So it was shocking that I had bleed that much.

So I put on a new Mama cloth and dash downstairs for some carpet cleaner and some towels.

I had to put towels on the floor, over my sheets and on the computer chair. I had to change the Mama cloth every few minutes. As soon as I was able I took one of those Provera pills.

It looked like someone had lost an arm in my room. I am going to have to wash the bedspread this weekend. The sheets had to be changed. The carpet was stained. And about six towels were stained. I had to do the Mama cloth load and the towels load TWICE tonight to get it all off. What a mess.

Thankfully it stopped overnight and I am now just barely spotting.

So lesson learned. If this ever happens again I will take the medicine even if the period stops.

And today I was so sick all day. Nauseous. Yuck, I just felt vile.

I am praying this Provera helps. If not, I will just have to go back on birth control pills. How ironic that I have not had marital relations with my soon to be ex since before he went to jail, which was literally sometime in the summer, and I might end up on birth control pills LOL

My mind just goes to wondering where on earth this stuff is coming from. I mean, my Grandmother was a nurse and would always say "Jaime Leigh, it is probably nothing more than a teaspoon's amount of fluid." But trust me, this was way more than a teaspoon!

So thanks to the hormones, I was in a lovely mood today. I managed to not be too cranky until after nap time. Which I spend laying down next to one of the chicken's because I felt so gross. I got up, prepared the snack- which took a while because the cheese sauce was ice cold, so I thought it would be nice to warm it up for them. And of course with health code regulations nothing is as simple as just tossing something in the microwave. So I took the time to warm everything up, came back in, set the table- all while my coworkers did nothing, but I was okay with that because I had been sick for the half hour of nap time that was not my break.

Well it was time to wake them up, because they had already slept for a half hour longer than they are supposed to. I go to turn the light on and my coworker was like "oh let them sleep longer." Um, okay. I said "Oh well I was just following the schedule." She said that we can do whatever we want back there.

Um, no. We really can't. Not when we are taking the State's money, we can't. If we were still in private school status like last year, then by all means, do whatever you want. I just think it is an ethical issue when we don't even try to follow their rules. Plus I don't want the parents upset tomorrow because their kids didn't sleep tonight. Plus I did all of that extra work for nothing. By the time they got to eat snack it was cold again.

But fine, she has worked there longer than me, she gets the final say. But I am a stickler for rules, always have been. Grey does not exist. Black and white are fine, grey is not. I have a lot of sensory issues, plus I might be book smart, but a lot of times I get overwhelmed when things are not organized. So it helps me to have a schedule.

So I just walked out of the room and went in to the bathroom to sulk about how I can not stand that my coworkers are so flippant about the schedule ;)

But we got this memo last week saying that we are going to get fired if we disagree, so I hope I don't get fired for this. So that is why I just went to the bathroom because I have a very expressive face.

I figure I am just cranky because of the hormones to stop my period.

I could go the whole rest of my life following that schedule to the letter and be happy as a clam. I just don't understand how people can be so carefree. Not that it is wrong, if that is what you like. I am just not that person.

I also have a problem making exceptions in life. I mean, people say that there are always exceptions to the rules- I don't agree. I feel like you either follow the rule or you don't. Why am I like this? Why can't I be more open minded?

This is why I was not good at managing the domestic violence shelter. I couldn't figure out how to see grey things. Like we had rules, but some people could break them and not get in trouble, but other people would get in to trouble right away for breaking them. Never made a bit of sense to me. And it seems that that puts too much pressure on the person who gets to decide who is in trouble and who isn't.

If client #1 doesn't do her share of the house chores and gets away with it, then why is client #2 being called in to the office over it? Just because client #1 has (insert reason here). It was way to hard for me to be the one to decide who I made follow the rules and who I didn't. I could not handle that.

Maybe there is a technical name for this disorder LOL

So that is the latest on me. I am cranky and I have to wash the bedspread, blanket and mattress cover in my room on Saturday because it was like a crime scene in here last night.

And please, no one post anything about how I might be dying of some kind of strange disease or something. Because if you do, I will have anxiety attacks. :0) Maybe one day a doctor will actually do some tests on me instead of dismissing everything as being caused by my weight. You have a hangnail? It is because you are overweight! Stubbed your toe? You are overweight.

And on that note, I am going to bed! :0)

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry for the wicked AF. As for the rest of your post, I've been thinking of it today. Grey is good. I find myself needing grey at times. Structure is great too, but grey can be freeing. It's hard to explain in a little comment box, but I don't like ppl to have high expectations of me, to expect me to be black or white. I'd rather they accept my greyness. I can't always be what one person considers black or white, so in the name of acceptance that I Just Am, let me be grey. Not sure if that makes sense. {{hugs}}