The board of ed is coming next week to evaluate us. Today I was flipping through the book to make sure that our cots were spaced correctly and that we had enough minutes of music, etc. When I read the following: You are not allowed to tie the children up as a form of discipline.
Okay, seriously, what Pre K on the planet needs that bit of information spelled out for them?!?!?! LOL
My co-teacher didn't believe me until I showed her myself. My initial snarky reply was "So duct tape is okay then, right?" LOL
And that reminded me of a conversation I had last year with one of the kids who went off to Kindergarten this year. The kids wouldn't stay in their seats so I asked them "What is it going to take to keep you chickens in your chairs today?" Without missing a beat, R replied "Duct tape would probably work, Miss Jaime!" Remind me to never make him mad at me ;)
So that was my laugh for today.
Here are some other funny things that happen at work:
For Halloween I let the kids grapheti my tee shirt with Sharpies because I was going as a rock star. One of my students said: H. O. I just wrote H and O on your shirt Miss Jaime. What does H O spell? Does it spell Ho? Did I just write "Ho" on your shirt Miss Jaime? Isn't that nice. Ho, ho, ho, just like Santa says!"
I somehow convinced him to add another "O" and a "P" to make "Hoop." :P
On water days in the summer the kids normally wear their bathing suits under their clothes. The boys generally just wear a regular shirt and wear their trunks as shorts since they are so long nowadays anyhow.
Me: Okay kids, time to go outside for water day. Boys, take your shirts off, let's see those muscles!
S: Nipples Miss Jaime?!?!?!?!?! *shocked*
Me: Um.. mus...cles?
During artist week I told the kids that one artist had died in the early 1970's.
S: Miss Jaime, was my Dad alive when he died?
Me: Maybe. How old is Dad?
S: He is 44.
Me: Okay, yes, he would have been alive then.
S: What about my Mom?
Me: Probably, do you know how old Mom is?
Me: Are you sure *I know her Mother well, I didn't know her age but I knew it wasn't 24 LOL She was at least in her late 30's*
S: Yes, she is 24!
Me: Um, no, then she was not alive then.
From that day on her Dad started referring to her Mom as his "Trophy Wife" LOL
We were playing an animal guessing game. It was zoo animal week, but I thought I would trick them but throwing in a farm animal.
Me: Okay, what is a little bit grouchy and might kick you if you make it mad? (donkey)
T: A Miss Jaime! Right E? It's a Miss Jaime!
One of my after school kids showing me her sheet music for choir:
M: Miss Jaime, this song here is from the olden days when you were a kid! (the song was released in the early 1960s. I was born in 78.)
Another after school kid talking about her sister:
I mean really, what kind of person wears Crocs in the winter? How stupid.
(I was wearing my Crocs. The look on her face when she noticed this was priceless).
T, at Walmart with his family after bumping in to his teenaged sister's boyfriend:
"My sister and Miss Jaime and Miss M *my other coteacher* don't have peanuts because they are girls and girls don't have peanuts, only boys have those." At least I wasn't there, his poor sister was mortified!
E, leaning over and whispering in Miss T's ear: You are the best teacher ever.
Two seconds later, he leans over and whispers in my ear: You are the best teacher ever.
He did not expect us to compare notes ;)
A: You have boobs Miss Jaime, just like my Mom. Only yours are much bigger.
I was looking at a craft magazine that sells in bulk then tells you how much per item the cost is.
T: That right there is 55 cents Miss J.
Me: That is a lot. Do you have 55 cents?
T: No, I don't have any cents at all.
M, after visiting her Aunt in the hospital after having a C Section: I am never having a baby when I grow up because I don't want anyone to cut my tummy open. Well, except for my Mom, she pooped me out.
One of the students in my class has the same last name as me, so I call him by a different last name as a nickname, as a joke. I told him that I am not sharing my name with him LOL One of my other students, E, drew a picture for me and this is how she described it:
E: Miss J, if you marry John Davis you will be Miss Jaime Davis Davis *not our real last names* So I drew a picture of you and John wearing pajamas. This little boys is your son and John named him John Jr. And the little girl is your girl and John named her Junior Jaime.
Another one from E: She drew a large golden start and asked me how to spell some words. I realized that she had had me spell out: Miss Jaime goes first.
When I asked her what I go first for, she replied "To the bathroom!" We still have no idea about that one!
Every year we make phone books for the kids who go to Kindergarten with all of their friend's numbers in it and even the teacher's numbers. It is a BIG deal and the kids love to call each other. Well E isn't going to K until this year so she did not get one. She asked me what my number was because she had picked out a nice book from the prize box. I gave her my number and I overheard the following conversation:
A: Those are not her numbers, she is only teasing.
E: Nuh uh, those are her numbers. I am going to call her tomorrow and prove it.
A: No, there are too many numbers for it to be real *I think the area code, which is now required in our state, threw him off*.
The following Monday:
E: A, those really were her numbers, I talked to her on the phone and my parents were there and they can tell you that I called her on a Saturday and we talked about the food channel.
A: Wow, they really were her numbers!
I always tell the kids that I get paid in hugs. It happened to be payday when my boss handed me my check. Since I have direct deposit, the check always reads "Zero dollars and zero cents." and has $0.00 on it. Well she handed it to me and asked me to check something on it so I opened it. E was behind me and saw it and said "Oh my goodness, she really does get paid in only hugs!!" LOL
I have a hundred more but I am tired. Enjoy!