Saturday, February 27, 2010


I am very tired.

So tonight I click on a friend's wall and I see my STBX in her friend's section. Why did I do that? I would never have known if I hadn't clicked to see her wall.

I am very uncomfortable with this for a few reasons.
1. Well, he never spoke to this person hardly ever before. Why the sudden need to be friends with her now?
2. Is everything and anything I say somehow getting back to him?
3. Can he see what I write to her on her status updates?

I have to accept the fact that he won. He claims to be an athiest *I have no idea how to spell this but it is too late to fight with spell check*, yet he keeps showing up at the church I have gone to for 8 years. And now he is friends with one of my good church friends?

Okay, he won. He can have my church. Take it, it's his. He needs it a lot more than I do, apparently.

I think I have to move. I need to find a real job in another state and move there. I will have zero support there, but I will be safe. I wont have to worry that he can stop by my house any time he wants to like he can right now.

I am also thinking that I might change my name. That is how serious this has been in my life. It seems to be a joke to some people. "Oh I have been friends with J for years, and her STBX never spoke to me the entire time I knew her, but I am going to be FB friends with him now that she left him, even though he beat her. Good for me." But it is not a joke to me. :0(

Does anyone know how they handle things like pre-existing conditions when you change jobs on medical insurance? I don't own my BiPap machine yet. I would hate to have to give it back if I get a job out of state and I move. Not that I could get a job, but maybe, you never know.

I am thinking about deactivating my FB account.


  1. Jaime, if you block him, he will not be able to see anything that you post. You won't see him, and more importantly, he won't see ANYTHING that you post, ever. He won't be able to even find your profile no matter how much he looks. Perhaps he requested your friend's "friendship", and she didn't know how to say no. I've run across this, wondering why so and so would want to friend me, but afraid of being rude (we've all been trained so well, haven't we? put up with all kinds of bad things because we're afraid of being rude? ) (((hug)))

  2. UGH! I had a whole comment posted and it just disappeared. sigh
    Hi, this is craftygirl from PH. I saw your comment on whether or not your STBX can read comments that you post to your friends wall and the answer is, yes he can. If you post on her wall or comment on a thread she started, he can read it. So, it would be best to remove her as a friend or remove your account.

  3. Better yet, ask her why she's friends with an wife-beater. If I'd inadvertently friended someone who abused one of my older friends and s/he asked me why I friended the person after what they did, I'd apologize and drop the abuser as soon as I could get to a computer.

    As for your church, have you talked to your pastor? And if the pastor says some crap about STBX "finding God" point out that STBX had all those years WITH you to start attending church and that even if he truly believes he's trying to find God now, subconsciously he's just trying to be near you and he'll do better in a different church.

    And tell your church friend that Liz says "WHAT THE F*** is wrong with you?!?"

    Although, really, are you in the process of getting some kind of restraining order? It's my understanding that in many states you can get a temporary one with just "I don't feel safe near him" and that'd be enough to kick him out of the church.