I am very tired.
So tonight I click on a friend's wall and I see my STBX in her friend's section. Why did I do that? I would never have known if I hadn't clicked to see her wall.
I am very uncomfortable with this for a few reasons.
1. Well, he never spoke to this person hardly ever before. Why the sudden need to be friends with her now?
2. Is everything and anything I say somehow getting back to him?
3. Can he see what I write to her on her status updates?
I have to accept the fact that he won. He claims to be an athiest *I have no idea how to spell this but it is too late to fight with spell check*, yet he keeps showing up at the church I have gone to for 8 years. And now he is friends with one of my good church friends?
Okay, he won. He can have my church. Take it, it's his. He needs it a lot more than I do, apparently.
I think I have to move. I need to find a real job in another state and move there. I will have zero support there, but I will be safe. I wont have to worry that he can stop by my house any time he wants to like he can right now.
I am also thinking that I might change my name. That is how serious this has been in my life. It seems to be a joke to some people. "Oh I have been friends with J for years, and her STBX never spoke to me the entire time I knew her, but I am going to be FB friends with him now that she left him, even though he beat her. Good for me." But it is not a joke to me. :0(
Does anyone know how they handle things like pre-existing conditions when you change jobs on medical insurance? I don't own my BiPap machine yet. I would hate to have to give it back if I get a job out of state and I move. Not that I could get a job, but maybe, you never know.
I am thinking about deactivating my FB account.