Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bills, bills, bills

Well my health insurance is going up. By a lot.

I crunched the numbers. I will be lucky to clear $20 a paycheck, and that is going to go towards medicine and shampoo most likely. I am a bit scared by this, but then I think, "Eh, what do I really need to buy, anyhow?"

The tax bill was a huge set back for me, financially speaking. I am hoping to pay off one of the hospitals by July, that will free up $80 a month. I am also not giving my ex a dime towards the credit card we have together. Mainly because he kept screaming and cursing at me when I would try to talk to him about it, and because I did not have proof that he was using the money to pay it. It is in his name. Sooooooo. Plus the lawyer I went to thinks that I wont have to pay it anyhow in the divorce because of his retirement that I wont have. Not that it matters, I don't have a tree to yank that $65 a month off of anyhow LOL

I need to maybe find a second job. I have to really concentrate on that.

I fear having to relocate to get a good job. I mean, let's face it, Pre K doesn't pay well. I have a degree. I can do so much better for myself. In another state. It is just getting the courage to do that, that is the problem.

A post on MDC really hit home for me tonight. About how unmotivated my STBX was. He never really wanted to better himself. He had a degree but refused to use it. Meanwhile I would have loved to be able to use mine, but here, it isn't happening. But he could have used his degree here easily but he wouldn't. He would threaten to quit his job a lot, never went to work on time and had the bad habit of yelling at his boss, plus he did not get along with anyone. Ever. What a mess. And when he was at work he was on the internet a lot of the time. I can't believe he didn't get layed off sooner than he did.

I can remember being so bitter because I was working 70 hours a week. Seventy hours. And he was barely "working" his 40, and then going home and playing computer games all night. Just so he could be late again the next day.

Can I just say that I am so thankful to be out of that situation? So yes, I will take my $20 that I have left over and I pay these medical bills, and I will rejoice to have it. Because the money I had when I lived with him is not worth the misery I suffered. No way, no how.

My Dad likes to tease me about "working for nothing". It does seem as though I do go to work and I don't actually have any money to show for it. I could write a country song, maybe? "My ex took my car, had to buy a new one. Going blinde is expensive, and I am singing the blues." Do you think Carrie Underwood would record it? ;)

But my smallest hospital bill is now $400. Can you believe it????????????? I will soon own all of those MRIs they did on me LOL So when that is paid off, that is $80 more a month I will have. Yay for me!

Tonight I got teary-eyed in the living room. I was crocheting a blanket while sitting with my Dad watching Bill O'Reilly. I just blurted out "I love you Dad and I am so thankful to be sitting here instead of at my old house with my abuser!" And that is so true.

God has blessed my, that is for sure!!


  1. You are so strong, Jaime, and I admire your courage. Keep looking forward, because it is too easy to look at "now" and be overwhelmed (which is something I struggle with and work hard to do). You can see the light at the end of the tunnel with that first hospital bill almost being paid off!

  2. Wait, there's a credit card only in his name that was used to spend money on you? More than $429?? *happy dance* Don't give him a dime.