Shopping..

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I wasn't supposed to be born a male. I dislike shopping. Women are supposed to enjoy shopping, right? For me, it is like torture. I am fine to click a mouse and order online for the things that I need. But putting me out in the malls or shopping centers truly is like torture.

That being said, I live with my parents now. So I have to fit in with them. My Mom loves to shop. She wants me to go. I go because I want her to like me, but I can't fake enjoying it. I just can't. I dislike how people do not look where they are going and almost knock me over. I dislike spending 3 hours trying to find a gift for an Aunt who doesn't really need anything anyway- seriously, gift cards are my friend! I dislike it when cars try to hit pedestrians. And when registers don't ring up things correctly. I am not creative enough to shop. I also dislike getting gifts in general, I am always trying to reduce my items, not increase them. So maybe that is why. At any rate, my Mom told me today that we have nothing in common. I just want so badly for her to like me. I feel so bad that nothing I do is up to her standards. I try, but my interests are so very different from hers.

Maybe I would like shopping more if I had money. LOL Catch me once I dig my way out of these medical bills and have money to spend. Perhaps then I will like shopping. I doubt it though.

I also do not enjoy decorating for Christmas. I know that is just wrong on so many levels. I rarely put up a tree when I lived on my own. I think maybe I have sensory issues. Too many things around me make me uncomfortable. Plus it was just another thing for the cats to knock over. And my marriage was so bad that he was hardly ever home. And when he was he wasn't happy to see me, or the house. So decorating just wasn't my thing.

I am probably depressing people. I am not trying to! I just really wonder if I should have been born a man, since so many of my dislikes are shared by men LOL