Every night, like clockwork. Three A.M. I wake up in pain. My back hurts so bad. From the stress of carrying my body around all day, no doubt.
It occurs to me, painfully, that I am very young, yet I must be dying. My body will eventually give out on me. My heart will stop. I will not live too long if I weigh over 400 pounds, I feel as if that is not possible.
I hate that I can't stop eating. I hate that the compulsion to finish something is always there. I hate that I have no self control. I hate that I feel powerless over food. I hate that I am going to die younger than anyone ever expected.