Friday, March 12, 2010

People say the dumbest things

Yes, I said it. There are some people in this world who are just stupid.

A coworker spent 10 minutes yesterday going on and on about how every relationship that fails involves both people being at fault.

I take offense to that, because I truly don't see my marriage failing as being my fault. I stayed with him for 9 years getting hit and always thinking it was my fault and trying to somehow fix it and make it better. If only I was better at this, better at that, etc. And I paid $225 an hour for marriage counseling that he didn't want to do, etc, etc.

So it really hurt my feelings that she was saying that I was somehow at fault for my marriage breaking up :0( I spent 9 years thinking I was to blame, but now I know it is all him, kids. He doesn't know how to use his words, that is not my problem. If my students are smarter than he is, then that is not my issue.


So anyway. I am moody lately. Really moody. Now that court is over I am angry. Almost seething. I feel pathetic for taking his crap for so many years. I feel weak, pathetic, stupid, etc. I feel like I wish I had had the nerve to stand up for myself. I think if I felt the way I do now 9 years ago, none of this would have ever happened to me. I would have dropped him like a hot potato the first time he slapped me on his parent's front porch.

Two things I regret in this life:
1. That I never saw him carried off in handcuffs.
2. That I didn't get to see his mugshot.

So yeah, I am pretty angry with him right now. I am sort of doing that whole thing where "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

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